Kyrandallo

On Saturday, March 28, 2009 (approximately 10:20 PM) I was burglarized by at least 2 individuals. They were able to get on the roof of my apartment complex, climb down the fire escape, and enter my bedroom window. I should note that my ridiculously overpriced complex (Clay St. in San Francisco) has windows that do not lock. My guests merely slid the window open, and walked right in. They proceeded to take whatever they wanted.

So to you gentlemen or women, I would like to say:

I really hope you make a decent profit on the $15K worth of stuff that you stole. If you need instructions on how to setup my microphones, please don’t hesitate to ask. That beautiful Martin guitar you took is probably lost without its stand (you left it in the corner…must have been in a hurry). Give me your address and I’ll ship it to you – you’ll obviously have to pay the shipping costs. You will need a few passwords for that XPS M1210 you took, so email me when you are ready for those. I’m going to deactivate the Xbox live account, so you might want to get some gaming in before that happens. I hated the Nintendo Wii, so don’t worry too much about that. Oh, that Asus Eee PC is running Ubuntu. There are plenty of online helps forums for Linux OS. How do my jeans fit? Do you like one of the 3 watches you took? I really liked the one with the scratch on the bottom (you’ll know which one I’m talking about). I hope you are not stupid enough to sell these things online, I have serial numbers for most of them. One last thing, please don’t open the “videos” folder in “my documents”.

Well, I guess that’s it for now. Thank you for not breaking the window or randomly destroying any of the stuff you couldn’t take. You’ve forced me to purchase a security system from ADT and my friends at Glock, so I’d advise against coming back. Should you accidentally die in some horrible death, may you eternally rot in the fires of hell whilst listening to Michael Bolton.

Yours,
Kyle