Kyrandallo

Dear Kyle,

I’m sorry to hear about losing your stuff. I know things will be rough on you without your 360 and that guitar you never played. I regret to inform you, however, that I’ll have to decline your request for retribution. Besides, casting these individuals in the fires of hell is not quite “eye for an eye”. Perhaps I’ll consider striking them down with some kind of affliction.

In that vein, do you think you might want to consider taking up new hobbies? I gave this world alcohol for celebration and praise, but certainly not for swimming in. I admire your tolerance, but perhaps a bottle a night is a bit much. I think you also might want to reconsider this new “gun-toting” thing. I’m just saying…that’s all. You’ve stopped the different variations of smoke inhalation; so I guess that something. Oh, by the way, ABSOLUTELY NOT! You know what I am talking about. I will personally turn you in to a street sign if you proceed any further.

How did you like that earthquake the other day? I get bored sometimes, and I just have to shake things up (and Yes, pun intended). You should probably get earthquake insurance because I’ve got a few special ones lined up…oh wait, you have nothing to insure (sorry). Anyhow, keep your chin up and all that stuff. At least you’ve got a job….for now.

Palabra,
G to the O-D