Five thoughts on 37-34:

1. The Dallas Cowboys secondary is so terrible that I’d rather not make the playoffs in order to avoid another nationally televised molestation.
2. Making the playoffs is pointless since nobody is going to stop Aaron Rodgers and his discount double check.
3. Thomas Richard Coughlin is an old, whiny bitch.
4. Tim Tebow might actually be the missing piece for this defense.  Clearly Jesus is not on our side.
5. Fuck Brandon Jacobs and his inability to play well against any other team except the Cowboys.

I’m off to find a puppy to kick.

“‘In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

RIP 2010 Dallas Cowboys

Ian Thomsen (SI.com) has joined the ranks of the other 253 million people who have published an opinion on LeBron’s next move.  It wouldn’t be a “Chosen city” article without mentioning New York and Chicago.  With regards to Miami (Really!?), I think he makes an interesting point that D-Wade and LeBron will never coexist since they both need to be “Number 1″.  As I’ve mentioned before, I think those two should strongly consider creating an empire together.  He also offers a case for New Jersey (horrible) and Portland (please God no!).

In the end, however, Thomsen became worthy of Kyrandallo.com for going out on a limb and offering the Dallas Mavericks as his “dark horse”:

They are the dark horse, and they should be taken very seriously. They don’t have cap space, but they do have an ambitious owner with a tradition of spending big in hope of winning championships, they have James’ good friend Jason Kidd at point guard and they have a future Hall of Famer in Dirk Nowitzki – and how would rivals match up against a front line of Dirk and LeBron? If James tells the Cavs he is leaving, wouldn’t they prefer to participate in a sign-and-trade to retrieve assets from Dallas instead of enabling James to freely join with an Eastern conference rival like Chicago, New York or Miami? It stands to reason that Cleveland would much rather see James move to the West than remain in the East to haunt them. The Mavs have enough depth to work a sign-and-trade and still compete for the championship next year, especially since they could employ their mid-level exception to fill in with tough-minded role players. I guarantee that Mark Cuban was cheering loudly for Boston Thursday night.

I’ll be the first to admit that LBJ in DFW is probably not going to happen.  In the end, something anticlimactic will probably happen such as a resign with Cleveland.  However, Dirk and LeBron (as MAVERICKS!) in the AAC would be pure sex!

http://www.lebrontothemavs.com/

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” - Albert Effin Einstein

10 years of this shit…

I. Am. Done.

Jerry is definitely going to catch some hell for a video of him that has recently surfaced on Deadspin.  The press is tagging Jerry as being blatantly disrespectful towards Tuna and that guy from that Super Bowl commercial.  The unofficial transcript is as follows:

Jerry Jones: Romo was a miracle.

Other guy: It was a miracle, wasn’t it?

JJ: He almost never got in, and he almost was gone. Tebow would never…

Different other guy: What if you were the Jaguars or — would you just, just draft him and sell fucking jerseys?

JJ: That’s the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells.

[Laughter]

JJ: [Inaudible. Sounds a little like, "Sell mammoth fuckin' rake," whatever that means.]

JJ: Bill’s not worth a shit. I love him.

Different other guy: I know you do.

JJ: Not worth a shit, but I wanted — they were on my ass so bad. J’s gotta have a yes man. So to get this fuckin’ stadium, I need to bring his ass in.

Different other guy: What, you, you wouldn’t take Tebow in the third round?

JJ: Why? He’d never get on the field. I can’t get him out there.

[Laughter]

JJ: I can’t get him out there.

Sometimes I miss Texas because every old, drunk guy at a bar sounds exactly like Jerry does in this video.  Personally, I think this situation only emphasizes how bad ass this guy is.  He’s an amazing business man with billions of dollars and the greatest team in sports.  He’s entitled to a drunk opinion.

My brother’s comment takes the cake for “beautiful first thoughts of the drunk Jerry video”.

Ryan: “That shit is hilarious! I love that he still gets blacked-out drunk at age 100″.  (Agreed!)

Love ya Jerry,

Kyle

Just another day at the office

Update: How does one dominate in one turn? Like this!

It’s been quite some time since I’ve been able to sit down and write something meaningful or witty.  I’d like to say that I now have something amazing to share with my readers, but I can only think about one thing: Words with Friends.

A company out of McKinney, TX called Newtoy has created a version of Scrabble for the iPhone.  The application basically allows a user to play scrabble with friends, strangers, or if you’re too good for either, against yourself.

What’s so great about Words with Friends?  Offworld’s Brandon Boyer has said it best, “Words With Friends — both the paid version, and its ad-supported free sibling — is lean, streamlined, and does nothing more than what it’s meant to do: give you a quick-burst next move in the minute and a half you have to fiddle with your iPhone in between life’s everything else”.

He’s absolutely right! It’s pretty rare that I have a solid hour or two to sit down with a friend (or stranger…or myself) and play a game of Scrabble.  This app has changed the game (if you will).  You can let a game of Scrabble linger for hours, days, or even weeks — just don’t play me if you take that long.

Fair warning to any and every person who decides to play: Words with Friends is a bit like crack.  You decide to try it, like the initial rush, and BAM…you’re hooked! One week later you’re skipping dinner plans to do research on words that use the letters “Q” and “Z”.  I know about 10 people who can give me an AMEN on that.

Download the app, clear your schedule, and bring it on!

I came across this article (Seriously, read it!) by ESPN’s Gene Wojciechowski earlier this morning.  At first, I brushed it off as something that would never happen.  However, before I was finished reading, I realized that it COULD actually happen.  Three of the top NBA players could actually come together to form one of the scariest teams in NBA history.  Gene contends, very simply, that all three of them are already insanely wealthy.  ”How rich is LeBron James? Put it this way: When God needs some walking-around money, he borrows it from LBJ.”  He’s right!  These guys have ridiculous amounts of money.

But…

What they don’t have is much assurance or hope for multiple championship trophies.  King James and Chris Bosh could theoretically never win a championship.  Dwyane Wade (Shaq) may have already got his, but do you really think he’s happy with just one?  Why don’t these guys sacrifice the god-like payday and come together to form an unstoppable empire?  I’d hate to see it happen on account of my Mavericks, but I’d certainly watch every game.  How freaking incredible would that be?

C’mon Mark Cuban, maybe you can make this happen…

The same process that powers our sun and other stars, nuclear fusion has the potential to be an efficient, carbon-free energy source—with none of the radioactive waste associated with the nuclear fission method used in current nuclear plants.

Thanks to the new achievement, a prototype nuclear fusion power plant could be operating within a decade, speculated study leader Siegfried Glenzer, a physicist at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California.

Glenzer and colleagues used the world’s largest laser array—the Livermore lab’s National Ignition Facility—to heat a BB-size fuel pellet to millions of degrees Fahrenheit.

“These lasers are pulsed, and for a very short amount of time”—one ten-billionth of a second—”the power they produce is more than all the power generated by the entire electrical grid of the United States” at any given moment, Glenzer said.

The test confirmed that a technique called inertial fusion ignition could be used to trigger nuclear fusion—the merging of the nuclei of two atoms of, say, hydrogen—which can result in a tremendous amount of excess energy. Nuclear fission, by contrast, involves the splitting of atoms.

The laser demonstration means scientists are now much closer to triggering nuclear fusion in a controlled setting—something that’s never been done before and which is necessary if fusion is to be harnessed for energy.

Science is sexy!

Credit to Ker Than of National Geographic News

Thanks to Toph Miller for having the inspiration to create this moment.

First of all, the 2009 Dallas Cowboys are simply better than the Philadelphia Eagles.  Philly fans love to make excuses when their teams loses.  Please do us all a favor this time around and admit that your team is just not as good as the ’09 Cowboys.  I know you guys only live for beating Dallas, but you’ll have to wait another year.

DeSean “lil buddy” Jackson, Jesus loves you.  Keep your head up and your mouth shut.  I know you’ll burn the Cowboys before your career is over…just not this year! Speech classes this Summer?

I was in junior high the last time the Cowboys won a playoff game.  That means that my prime development years were stunted by overwhelming despair and hatred due to utter failure.  Am I am happy about this win?  Oh my sweet baby Jesus yes!  Am I satisfied with ONLY this win?  Absolutely not!

This season would have ended last week if not for the defense.  Wade Phillips may be a defensive genius.  I challenge anyone to find a defensive unit that is playing better.  Let me also add this: Nnamdi Asomugha, Darrelle Revis, Mike “Jaynkins”.  Oh yeah…DeMarcus “Sex” Ware is not human.

Tony Romo finally looks like a quarterback that knows he will win versus thinking that he might have a chance.  I’m not sure if you, Candice Crawford, deserve any credit; but thank you nevertheless.  Your man is on fire at the perfect time. (Don’t hurt him).

I love you Felix Jones, Miles Austin, and Mat McBriar!